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Franz Kunstler, the last surviving World War I veteran who fought in defense of the old Austro-Hungarian Empire, which was allied with Germany, died in Baden-Wurtemberg, Germany where he had lived since 1946.  He was born in a German-speaking area of Eastern Europe which is now part if Romania in July 1900.  He joined the Austrian army in 1918 and served in the artillery in the Italian campaign until the war’s end.  He also fought in World War II.  In later life, as his fame spread as one of the longest-living WWI vets, he became known as “The Emperor’s Last Soldier.”  He received many requests for autographs from all over Europe, England and the United States.  It apparently began to wear on him because just last month, Kunstler told the German magazine Cicero that he “could do with a secretary.”  I don’t know how many surviving WWI vets there are but by now, I would think you can count them on both hands.

Recall that great scene, shot in the backseat of an old car, from On the Waterfront (1954) when Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando) dresses down his gangster brother (Rod Steiger) for making him throw all those prize fights “for the short money” ’cause he “cudda had class, I cudda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am”  Well, these guys definitely had class and talent - one a penchant for making lots of money, the other having this gift of coming up with just the right melody.

J.R. Simplot, farmer, entreprenur, billionaire and developer of the first frozen French fry, dead at 99

The license plate on his car read “Mr. Spud.”  He was a billionaire who grew up, literally, in a sod-roofed cabin and dropped out of school at the age of 14.  With luck and pure drive, he fashioned a career that started out with fattening a few hogs for a profit and ended up with his owning the world’s largest potato-dehydrating plant in the world.  It enabled him to supply much of the dried potatoes and vegetables which were consumed by U.S. troops during World War II.  After the end of the war, he began to look into ways to develop an acceptable frozen French fry when freezer compartments became standard fare in refrigerators.  He, along with one of his engineers, Ray Dunlap, finally perfected the product.  And in the mid-1960s, Simplot signed a contract with Ray Kroc, who was developing his own restaurant chain known as McDonald’s, to supply fries.  Simplot promised to build an entire factory devoted solely to preparing French fries for McDonald’s.  The deal with sealed with a handshake.

By the 1970s, Simplot’s businesses included fertilizer plants, oil, animal feed, seed, beef cattle and ski resorts stretching from Chile to China.  It is said he owned the largest cattle ranch in the country, located in Oregon.  But he wasn’t above bending, if not breaking the rules to gain an advantage.  In the seventies, he was charged with trying to manipulate Maine potato futures.  He was barred from commodities trading for six years and paid $50,000 in fines.  Chump change.  He also settled a lawsuit for an undisclosed sum of cash, probably not chump change.  He paid $40,000 in 1977 for failing to report income to the IRS and for claiming false deductions.  But even in the face of all this wealth, he was known for his over-the-top moderation in certain things like his eyeglasses, which he wore for 30 years and his car whose brakes went unrepaired because he didn’t want to spend the money to replace.  He died with his boots on at his home in Boise, Idaho of natural causes.

He who wrote (and performed) the countrified whistle that opened “The Andy Griffith Show” dead at 88

Earle H. Hagen, a onetime big-band trombonist who later went on to pen some of the most famous theme songs in television history, died Monday, May 26, in Rancho Mirage, California of natural causes.  This is just a partial list of theme music he wrote: the jazzy theme to “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” the exotic theme to “I Spy” (for which he won an Emmy), the goofy, military cadence of “Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.”  and the pop theme to “That Girl.”  But his most lasting contribution was his theme song to “The Andy Griffith Show” which accompanies Sheriff Andy Taylor and son Opie as they amble down a country lane to the ole fishin’ hole, all the while with Hagen himself doing the whistling.  It’s a theme that is as recongizable as the “Duh dah dum dum” of “Dragnet” or the theme song to “The Beverly Hillbillies.”  Have you ever met anyone, and I mean anyone, who could not sing along with the “Ballad of Jed Clampett?” - you know, “Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed . . .”  OK, don’t get me started.  So, just picture that scene with Sheriff Andy and Opie, their fishin’ poles over the shoulder . . . and that whistle.  Say what you will, but Earle Hagen, who left behind more than just that familiar whistle (not to mention his books on film scoring which are frequently included on academic reading lists), and his theme songs will be missed. 

Yesterday, Russia won its first world hockey championship since 1993 by defeating Canada 5-4.  Down 4-2 going into the third period, Russia staged a furious comback, scoring the clincher in overtime.  Which kind of brings something to mind.  Remember 1980 and the “Miracle on Ice” when the U.S. Olympic hockey team defeated the then-Soviet Union team to capture the gold medal?  MIracle?  Did you ever consider that maybe the Soviets threw the game? (more…)

It had a “feel” and resonance all its own.  If you’re around my age (55), then you know what I’m talking about.  Take “Be My Baby” or “Walking in the Rain” by the Ronettes or “Then He Kissed Me” by the Crystals.  How about “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin” by the Righteous Brothers.  Or my favorite of the genre, “Hooked On A Feeling” by B.J. Thomas.  They all were recorded in Hollywood U.S.A. with Larry Levine at the controls, mixing and engineering a aural technique which became known as the “Wall of Sound.”  Yes, Phil Spector, ex-record magnate and de facto murderer, is credited by popular legend as having invented it but they’re wrong.  (more…)

Here’s some tidbits from the world of professional sports, unlikely to find their way into the local rag here in Amarillo.

Gambling debts of $400,000 owed to the Wynn Resort

Prosecutors in Las Vegas have threatened Charles Barkley, former NBA star, with felony theft if he doesn’t pony up the $400,000 he owes Wynn Resorts.  The debts were incurred by his bad bet on the 2008 Super Bowl.  According to Wynn Resort lawyers and the Clark Co. D.A.’s Office, Barkley blew off the casino after repeated demands for payment on his four $100,000 markers.  Barkley makes no secret about his gambling and publicly estimates that he has lost over $10 million over the years.  He also admits to a gambling problem but then really doesn’t consider it a problem since he can afford to cover his losses.  Uh-huh.  He’s quick to add, ala Pete Rose, that he never, never, never bet on basketball.  It’s a ”bad habit,” in his own words, but he plans to continue to gamble.

No heart attack

The necropsy on Eight Belles, the filly who broke down in the Derby, shows that she sustained compound fractures of her front legs at the fetlock joints.  The necropsy found no disease or condition affecting her cardiovascular or pulmonary system or other major organs.  Of course, this will not dissaude the nutcases with PETA from protesting at the Preakness tomorrow.  Oh, there may be twenty or thirty outside the track with their little signs and sure, they’ll get some coverage from the big three networks.  Here’s to a decent race for Big Brown, a victory and then . . . on to the Belmont, the real race of champions.

Dead at 14

One of the greatest fillies to compete at the track died on April 21. Sharp Cat died while foaling an A.P. Indy colt at Gainsborough Farm in Versailles, Kentucky.  She won 15 or 22 races from 1996 to ‘98 and earned $2,032,575 for her owners.  She won 12 graded stake races, including 7 Grade I races.  That’s quite an accomplishment.  Her best-remembered race was the 1997 Santa Anita Derby when she took on the boys.  She engaged in a pace duel with eventual Derby winner Silver Charm, setting up internal splits that were equivalent to older male horses.  She hung on in deep stretch, pushing Silver Charm to the limit and causing him to tire near the wire, paving the way for Free House to take the win by a nose bob.  The final victory of her career came in the Beldame Stakes at Belmont Park with an 11-length victory.  She was an amazing and gifted runner and could have run head-to-head with the top 3 year old colts, with the exception of Big Brown, running this year.

Don’t ever underestimate the efficacy of the human touch.  Studies out of Canada suggest that even very premature babies benefit from skin-to-skin contact with their mothers during painful medical procedures.  Researchers focused on 61 infants born at 28 to 31 weeks of gestation (normal babies being born at anywhere between 38 to 41 weeks of gestation) who needed to have their heels lanced for blood samples before leaving the confines of the neo-natal unit at the hospital.

The first lance was given with the infants swaddled and lying in the incubator.  The next was administered after the mother had held the diaper-clad infant for fifteen minutes between her bare breasts which provided the maximum skin-to-skin contact.  Researchers then estimated the severity of pain by using a scale that measured the babies’ heartbeat, oxygen saturation of blood and facial expressions.  Average pain scores did not differ between the two lances at 30 and 60 seconds after incision.  But, by two minutes after the procedure, the babies held by their mothers were in only half as much pain as those in the incubators, according to measurement of the scales described above.

So, even in the midst of computer-assisted innovations and high-tech, invasive methodologies, the soothing, restorative power of the human touch retains its wonder and comfort. 

Hack has been asked to comment (briefly) on the use of the whip in thoroughbred racing and in particular, whether the criticism of the rider’s use of the whip on Eight Belles in the Kentucky Derby is justified.  Here’s my take. 

The whip’s primary objective is to correct a horse’s lugging in or out while exerting itself in deep stretch.  Very often, the horse, feeling the effects of fatigue in the late running of the race, will begin to veer toward the rail or away from the rail and into the path of other horses.  In order to avoid contact or clipping the heels of another horse (which may result in a breakdown, injury to both rider and horse or disqualification from placing in the race), the rider will apply force to whatever side of the horse it is lugging into; that is, if the horse, like Eight Belles, is lugging in toward the rail, the rider will hit the horse’s left side in order to straighten up the horse’s course.  Likewise, if the horse is lugging out, the rider will apply the whip to the right side.  

With Eight Belles, her trainer has been very outspoken in pointing out that the filly had a penchant for lugging into toward the rail in deep stretch and when this occurred in the late running of the Derby, confirmed by the videotape, Saez did exactly what he was instructed to do - use the whip on her left side to straighten her up.  I’ve watched the race several times now and nothing he did was either inappropriate or excessive in the number of times he applied the whip. 

Contrary to popular belief, the whip is not provided to the jockey so that he or she can simply beat the horse to squeeze out a little more speed approaching the wire.  The good riders know how and when to utilize the whip.  Sometimes, merely showing the whip to the horse - dangling the crop within the horse’s peripheral vision - is enough to coax that little extra effort.  Willie Shoemaker, Pat Day and Eddie Delahoussey were particularly gifted at that.  And yes, there are times when a rider may indeed deliver excessive whacks to the horse’s hindquarters.  That is a situation that is  addressed at all tracks and if the stewards determine that to be the case, the jockey can be and often is disciplined with suspension or fines or both. 

To answer another question as well: from what I have read and heard from various quarters, the colts and horses tolerate the whip much better than the fillies and mares, who, by all accounts, don’t really like it that much. 

It’s a shame that the young jockey who rode Eight Belles has come under such withering, unjustified criticism from those who really don’t know (or care) about thoroughbred racing.  I seem to recall back in 1996 when Jerry Bailey rode Grindstone to a thrilling photo-finish win in the Kentucky Derby over Cavanier.  I counted up to at least twenty-five lashes that Bailey gave the colt in the final half-furlong leading up to the wire.  When the photo dropped giving Bailey and trainer D. Wayne Lukas the win, I didn’t hear a single soul raise a shrill voice about Jerry’s liberal use of the whip then.  Yes, he was asked only one time at the post-race press conference about all those whacks.  And his answer: “Aw, he didn’t mind it at all.  We won and that’s what counted.” 

How often have you looked up at the law enforcement officer while conducting your cross and you know, you just know that he’s not simply embellishing or puffing it up a little but rather, that’s he’s lying and lying on an essential point of evidence that will ultimately affect the outcome of the proceeding?  And there’s really nothing that you can do.  But judges can do something and have the legal as well as a moral obligation to take action about what they perceive to be perjury.  Judge John Sprizzo of the United States District Court in Manhatten was faced with just such a dilemma.

During the course of a suppression hearing, Judge Sprizzo listened carefully to two uniformed officers who testified to their having stopped a man in the Bronx for several reasons: he was “loitering,” he was sweating profusely, he was “nervous” and had a bulge in his jacket.  The problem was that the judge simply didn’t believe the officers.  He concluded that the officers simply reached into the man’s fanny pack without any probable cause whatsoever, seized the .22-caliber pistol and then tailored their testimony to fit the facts and justify the search.  He suppressed the weapon, leading to the government’s dismissal of the charges.  Even after having dismissed the totality of the officers’ sworn testimony, the judge made clear that he did not like the idea of rejecting the evidence on the basis of its incredulity.  “I don’t like to jepardize their career and all the rest of it,” he later commented. 

He need not worry about besmirching those officers’ career tracks.  The NYPD never learned of the reasons underlying Judge Sprizzo’s decision to suppress the handgun and the two officers in question never had to face any kind of disciplinary proceedings for their actions both inside and outside the courtroom. (more…)

I guess I have to weigh in on this issue of attorney bonds, particularly after reading Joe Marr Wilson’s comments on the webserver this morning.  For your sake Joe, I really do hope that your client is a zero flight risk because signing off on a $100K bond, frankly, would keep me up at night, staring bug-eyed at the ceiling and that’s regardless of the king grand retainer you got.  But somebody must think there’s an element of flight risk or else the bond wouldn’t be so high.  My God, what’s he charged with anyway? 

Attorney bonds are good for the private practice of law.  I can attest to their usefulness.  Years ago, when I practiced down in Beaumont, it was standard policy there with the courts and defense bar that each attorney was provided a $10,000 “credit line” meaning he or she could write up to $10,000 in bonds for respective clients.  It was a nice perk for me since I was having to start from scratch with a new practice with no immediate prospects in view.  However, I was made aware that the courts enforced the conditions of these bonds rigorously and made no exceptions for attorney bonds as opposed to those posted by professional bondsmen.  If the client failed to make a hearing or was late, the forfeiture proceeded.  Attorneys getting hit for the face amount of the bonds was not unusual.  It made me very picky about for whom and when I would post a bond.  I did it a few times but I insisted on a slew of phone numbers and good addresses before I put my signature on the bond. 

It’s good to see this innovation which helps foster the growth of the private practice of criminal defense.  Nevertheless, I would caution each attorney to be vigilant about the circumstances of the potential client for whom you may consider posting bond and remember this - even though you need not attest to your possession of adequate assets equal to or exceeding the face amount of the bond in the event of forfeiture or revocation, you damn well better be able to settle up in cash or the equivalent in the event your good thing doesn’t show up for hearing or trial.  And make no mistake: the more attorney bonds which are approved, the greater the probability that one of us will get popped.  It’s just good business to vet each client carefully, very carefully. 

The next time you rent a car through Hertz or Avis, take the time to read the fine print.  I never do and I’ve been renting through Hertz for over 27 years.  I hold a Hertz #1 Club Gold card which means I never have to stand in line ever again at an airport to pick up the car.  My nightmare at the Hartford International Airport some years ago cured me of that.  But, where was I?  Yes, read the fine print and this is the language you may find: “You may bill all charges, parking/traffic tickets included, to the card I use for payment, without any additional signature by me on a voucher.”  What does this mean?  I’ll tell you.

The next time you go through a red light at an intersection in a strange city that is camera-enforced, the ticket that may issue will not go directly to you.  Most likely, it will issue to the vehicle owner because tickets generated through enforcement cameras are classified in the same category as parking tickets; they cite the vehicle owner, not the driver.  In that case, if you are driving your own car, you get the ticket.  If you are driving a rental car, the company is responsible and it can choose to settle the case by simply paying the fine and administrative fee and then bill you for the cost.  The good news here is that penalty points for payment of the fine do not go against the driver because no specific individual has been cited.  Thus, it’s a boon for the lead-footed driver and anathema for those harsh critics of traffic enforcement camera technology since it lowers the public’s resistance to the proliferation of these systems throughout municipalities.

Municipalities are picking up on the parking ticket construct as a method to raise substantial revenue with no fuss, no muss.  The rental companies are not at all hesitant about paying the fines and simply billing back onto the customer the additional cost.  Cities don’t have to mess around with such unpleasant things like sustaining their burden of proof as to who exactly was driving the car.  And the rental companies don’t even have to inform their clients about the ticket at all until such time as they charge their credit cards for the additional cost.  Such is the price we now pay in this brave new world.  But I’m not giving up my membership in Hertz’s #1 Club Gold.  When in line for goods and services, I wait like an ox with fish eyes and a general lack of goodwill or patience.  Like just about everything else, you end up paying for your fun, one way or the other.